Those little things...

It's amazing how you might be able to connect with different people and to what extent. A single look, a hand movement, a hug...many different ways. I don't know if you have ever experienced that 'finishing each other's sentences' deal, but it has happened to me with my friends a lot. We are in sync several times. Of course it doesn't happen 24/7, that would just be boring, but it surprises me how many times it happens. But what's best of all is that it doesn't matter how much they might anger you at times, or how long you remain annoyed, it is just very hard to stay mad at them or worse...to end the friendship. 'Cause it's those types of friends that are worth keeping around. :)

In the end...there can only be one...right?

Lately I have been hearing many different opinions and points of view about love and relationships. About how you can be in a relationship and still have "fun" with other people because in the end there is nothing romantically involved and you still love your partner. About once being in a relationship, not to be involved intimately or romantically with somebody else cause that is something you only do with your partner. About monogamy. About polygamy. About how humans are NOT meant to be monogamous. About how humans ARE meant to be monogamous. About the difficulty of knowing you are with the right person unless you try different things. About the ease of knowing you are with the right person, because you just know and because you feel it. About how something physical is just that, something physical. About how something physical is more than just being something physical.

What I noticed about the people I heard these things from was that the people with a more "open" point of view were from the northern hemisphere whilst the "closed" ones were from the south. Even more specifically, the "open" were from Europe and the "closed" from Latin America.

I was interested in getting to understand both points of view, hear what they had to say, where do they stand, etc. as well as asking questions along the way, the first being "If you are in a relationship, and you try something with somebody else, and you find out you like it...what then?". The answer was simply "Then you break up, it was not meant to be." Makes sense, but it was quickly followed by "It wouldn't be considered cheating.". That completely clashes with the Latin American point of view about being loyal and monogamous, cause that would be considered cheating right from the start with no other way of looking at things. And when I asked the "closed" "Don't you ever wonder what it would be to have something different, with somebody else?" The answers I got were more in the lines of "I am completely comfortable with what I have, I see no need in finding something else or do something stupid in search of 'fun'."  I don't know if it is of relevance to point out the fact that the "open" and "closed" that said this both had their longest relationships to be 6 months and 2 years respectively.

Personally, I believe that once I am with the right somebody and want to actually build a relationship with that person, then I should be comfortable and wouldn't have the need to look elsewhere. If it is the contrary, then I see no sense or need in continuing the relationship being uncomfortable and/or with needs my partner should fulfill. In a less selfish stance, I also don't find it fair to waste somebody else's time as well as giving up their chances to meet somebody else that would truly be fit for that person.

I just find it amusing how we all are different people, and have different opinions as well as points of view...Even with something so simple yet so complicated like love. 

But in the end...there can only be one big love...right?

Riding a Bus

So today I was wondering...how come in movies, TV shows, media itself, I come to see that people who take public transport like a bus can start a conversation with a complete stranger, but ever since I came to Taiwan it hasn't happened to me? No wait, it did...It happened like 2 times. Thing is, it happened with foreigners. Never has a Taiwanese approached me and started a conversation with me on a bus unless it's the bus driver him or herself (Cause in Taiwan you can get both). I remember two years ago taking a bus back home, and I hear a couple of guys speaking Spanish at the back of the bus. After a while, I just asked where they were from (cause that's the first thing people ask foreigner's in Taiwan). Turns out they were from Mexico, and a nice conversation followed. The second time was not so long ago. I got on a bus, which I was not sure where it was going so asked the driver if it went to the "so and so" stop. To my surprise, he just stares back at me with no expression on his face...so ask once again assuming he didn't hear me. Same reaction...or lack of reaction? Just as I was about to call this driver out, a woman sitting right near the entrance said "Yes, it passes by your stop. I'm going there too." So I thought to myself, "Finally, somebody had some decency to answer me." It so happens that this woman is a foreigner around her 40's. It is also worth mentioning that the bus was not empty, it was actually half full yet nobody else answered. Now I know what you must be thinking, that probably they didn't understand what I was saying...they do speak Chinese after all. For the record, I asked in Chinese, and the woman answered me in Chinese as well. And just then, it felt nice that somebody actually spoke to me on the bus.

I just can't help but wonder, why? Why in Taiwan people are just not going to talk to you on the bus? It is kind of ironic that in the buses here made to transport 2,620,000 people in just Taipei and get crammed like a can of sardines during rush hour I feel alone and at times alienated. I bump into people while trying to get out, or slightly push when fighting to get in and still it feels kinda lonely in the bus. I know they notice me, cause they stare at times and its something most foreigners learn to ignore.

I can also point out a few situations that can happen while taking a bus in Taiwan:

*If you happen to sit somewhere that has two seats, and the one beside you is free...its yours too so stretch and relax. Taiwanese don't sit beside foreigners unless necessary. They get on the bus, look at an empty seat, go for it, see a foreigner beside it, and suddenly realize they just wanna stand during this trip (They figure they had been sitting all day anyway). Of course, its not always the case, but I can assure you that foreigners that take the bus have had this happen to them at least 60% of the time.

*If you start talking to somebody else, it is almost 100% sure heads will turn. Probably because of your accent, or the language your using...but sometimes even when you speak Chinese, heads will turn to stare at the speaker for a while...I have also observed that most of them are elderly Taiwanese that like to do the staring game.

*If you start talking with somebody else in a language other than Chinese or English and sometimes French, those stares start having a different meaning to them...a more like, "Would you shut the hell up?". Oh I forgot to mention that the few times Taiwanese ever speak to us foreigners on a bus is to shut us up. Now why, did I mention those 3 languages? Well, because I've heard and seen groups of Taiwanese school students (elementary, middle, highs schools, university) being loud as a construction site, and they get away with it. Why English? Because Taiwanese love foreigners that speak English. Their first thought is that they are from "America", a country they look up with great esteem. Too much if you ask me. Why French? Because there are those who like France as well, sorta like they do with "America". Any other language is just noise and gibberish to them.

*You will be stared at

*The driver, for a lack of a better word, drives like a madman.

*The driver, again for a lack of a better word, drives extremely slow.

*The driver talks to the bus driver that's beside our lane.

*The driver might start fighting with a taxi in front of him.

*The driver will ask you where you're from.

*You will be pointed out by the children

*The driver might ask you where you want to go before you get on, just in case you don't know which bus you're taking.

*Often will you find some elder Taiwanese sitting near the driver, having a very loud conversation that sounds like a heated argument. But they are just talking about the weather! :D

And on and on, but I think this is enough buses and drivers for today.

I must admit tho, that I have felt like a fly on the wall sometimes...just observing all the interesting characters that might get on the bus, or interesting things that happen on the bus.

Arácnidos

So...lately there has been these storms passing by the island...probably some remnants of typhoons that seem to pass through here, bringing with them brief but intense showers...! So much water, that the soil can no longer absorb the rainwater and therefore there were lots of flooded areas.

This, in turn, can't help but make me think that a few animals...insects among them...have no other choice than to search for land and safe spots nearest them! This is a logical explanation to why the hell I've been surrounded by spiders these days!

This Monday, I was trying to get some shuteye...40 mins into my sleep, I feel something of considerable weight drop on my neck and quickly run off! I wake up and try to get it off me, but  there was nothing in sight. But on closer inspection of the room...I find a spider the size of my fist on the wall! Big, black, dark...and its legs were unnaturally long...!

I had completely taken their warnings for granted, because earlier that day there was this white spider of the same size outside the window...I took my time to observe it, and probably tap on the pane once or twice. It seemed that they were determined to have me out of there...and it worked...! After I found a third spider of the same size, I was not about to take my chances that evening.

I had tried to get rid of them, but I had no repellent or insecticide around...and they didn't sell anywhere near. The person in charge of the dormitories nowhere to be seen, and the only advice I got was..."Usa una escoba! (use a broom!)"...Which I did...but the spiders were so fast! And they jumped all over the place!!! They finally got into narrow places I couldn't reach...and I gave up...I couldn't stay the night being all stressed out that another one of them would land on my face again!

Now, things are ok-ish...There is another one at the window, and has been there for 3 days...I'm guessing it'll starve soon...I just hope it won't break in! And the others are not in sight...but I know they're around...here...somewhere.......!!!!

Decisions...decisions...

I am the kind of person that usually doesn't read the manual for things I get, like for a game or how to build something...unless it is absolutely necessary or I find myself lost. But right now, I am at a position in my life where I wish I had a manual...to lead me through life. Things weren't really looking up for me these past few months, that's when I needed it the most. Now everything is kinda ok-ish, but I still wish I had that friggin' manual.

It's hard for me to make decisions, and I bet for most people too, because of the "What if's..." What if I had chosen that instead of this?", "What if I hadn't done this?", "What if I actually had done it?". Not only that, but of all the consequences decisions bring. Life is not like a game in which you can "Retry" or "Restart" if you had a game over, or you didn't get what you want. Even less just turning "Life" off out of frustration and continue another day when you're feeling better. Life goes on, and is continuous. You might be in "Pause", but not life...it keeps going!

And let's say you actually made your decision...Most of the times you have to stick to it! And even if you change your mind and want to go back, things might not be the same.

Life seems to have many branches, based on the decisions and choices you make. I'm always curious of the things that would happen in the future, just like I'm curious of the things that could've happened. I wonder about Life, Family, Happiness, Love, Friendship, Success, Trust...these are all big words for me which I care about...And most of the time, they might clash with each other. For example, you might make yourself happy but might upset and unbalance your family. You might strive for success but that might create some trust issues between your coworkers. And you might be in love, but at the same time sloppy with life cause you are more into your relationship.

So I wonder, not how to choose which one nor how to have 100% of all of them...But instead how to create a balance between all of them...when and where to choose which one rather than just focusing on a single one. This are just thoughts of an insecure mind at the moment...thoughts I wanted to type in...

Up there is Eevee and all its evolutions up until this date August 5, 2011. Now Eevee is a really special Pokemon in which it has a special trait encoded in its genes that allow it to evolve into many forms depending on its environment or if given a certain stone. It evolves into Flareon, Jolteon, or Vaporeon once using the Fire, Thunder, and Water Stones respectively. It evolves into Espeon and Umbreon depending on if you train in the daytime or nighttime. And finally into  Leafeon and Glaceon if it is trained in a certain area such as a forest or a snowy area with a certain rock present. Each evolution is different and has its own pros and cons. There is only one Eevee in each game and only one! Once it evolves that's how it is gonna stay forever, there is no way to make it turn into another one or to change it back...(unless you don't save your game, haha). But if you don't evolve it, it will always stay like Eevee which is much weaker than any of its evolutions. So the trainer must be sure of what it wants and how to do it right in order to get the desired evolution.

In other words one has to be aware of the consequences decisions might bring, live with them, and move on...yet the decision making is the hardest part to do. But if you don't take action...you are just gonna end up with...an Eevee...something weak, normal and plain. As cute as it may be, you have to grow up sometime and make tough choices.

Catching Up

Lots had been going these past few months. And I've been experiencing new things, for example... This is my first summer in Taiwan. Usually I went back to my country once a year these past couple of years. This time, though, I decided to stay and do summer courses. Needless to say, it has been around a month since I started said courses. I have learned one thing, don't take two courses that involve math! Big mistake! :P

My mother did not handle the fact of me staying this summer here pretty well. There is not much I can do, since I really need to take these courses. She doesn't tell me not to do it, but you can just see that she had been disappointed upon receiving such news. She might get sad even. Expecting to see me again, and be waiting for a year...so much pressure to actually please her. But I know that all this is due to a mother's love towards her own children. Which makes it even harder not to make her happy. Sometimes I wish I could be in two places at once...Maybe I learn to clone myself next semester?

Taiwan is an island located off the southeastern coast of mainland China. The island spans the Tropic of Cancer and is covered by tropical and subtropical vegetation. Being my first summer here I have discovered...the heat that comes with this humid summer...I didn't think that those descriptions of Taiwan being hot and humid could compare by the heat back at home...And I was wrong...Not too long after you're outside...probably five minutes or so...and you are already sweating...Sun hits strong, heck I even got a tan for just walking around! I was definitely not expecting this...heat!

These two up here are Kangaskhan and Tropius. Kangaskhan is overly protective of its child. The child is always in its parents pouch, unless the parent feels its safe for it to walk around with its supervision of course. Wherever they go, nobody and nothing can get near the child. Tropius on the other hand, obviously resembles a tropical plant. Funny thing, that even though Taiwan is a tropical area...we still have more species of bananas and plantains. Tropius weirdly enough has the ability to...fly?! Yes, those leaves on its back allow it do such thing. I wonder if we can make things fly with those leaves...

Winds of Change

So it's been pretty windy...and I have also been filled with uncertainty lately. School has been kinda discouraging, and this in turn raises doubts. A change might be ideal, or a change might be a setback...Nobody knows the answer and neither do I. Trying to keep up seems hard to do, and motivation dwindles as your drive has found itself to a halt upon realizing that your efforts are for naught. I don't see any uphill path in the horizon, which is where I want to be headed. Is this temporary? Will this change? Is it part of 'the process'? Or am I simply headed another way? These and many other questions are have been my latest companions.

This one up here is Castform. It changes depending on the weather, so if its raining it will change into its water-form, sunny to fire-form, and hailing to ice-form. But if another opponent changes the weather, Castform must still change into its corresponding form even if it didn't want to.

So in other words, when making important decisions its best not to receive any outer influences. In the end you might just end up doing things you don't want to...

19 hours of rain

That was what we had here in Taipei City. 19 hours of rain, and I really don't know if it was non-stop or not cause I just figured it was raining the whole time. Other than that, it was really cold and it has been for quite a while now...they say April showers bring May flowers...But first of all, it isn't April yet...and 19 hours?! I don't think that's what they had in mind when they said that...Hopefully we, the 台北人, are able to see some sun tomorrow! At least that's what the forecast says...

This weather is perfect for sleeping in! Or...studying for midterms which are right around the corner now...and by corner I mean this Wednesday...I've been trying to retain everything that I read, but sometimes it may just be a tad bit overwhelming...!

On a side note, I have been having these ideas of setting goals for myself and one of them is try to get fit...We'll see how that goes...Usually when I set long term goals for myself they end up on a list of failed attempts along with many other goals...I probably need some incentive...or time! A foreigner studying a bachelors degree in a public university in Taiwan isn't well known for having spare time...We need time to translate several things from our courses and information given to us, aside from the work and reports we have to do...In other words, it is a challenge!

Well, as the Taiwanese say, 加油！

By the way, that Pokemon on the top is Kyogre...It brings rain with it wherever it goes...maybe there was one here for 19 hours?

Just...5...more...minutes...

I just can't seem to concentrate and study...I feel like I need some sort of motivation in order to go on through with the rest of the day. I examined several slides today about bone tissue and cartilage. Started asking a few questions, but after a while I just felt I wanted to get out of there. And the weather isn't really helping, it's just the right temperature...to just lay in bed for much more time...skip a class or two...5 more minutes...

On another note...I evolved my Murkrow! I have mixed feelings about that...

What will Fukaluo do?

Yes, that is just the right question. 

I live in an island in which what inhabitants lack in social skills, they make up for hardworking attitude. They all keep going about, doing their own things, studying their own subjects, working till late hours, but do they actually take the time to think on where they are going? On what they are actually doing? If they like what they are doing? But most of all, what will they do? I think that the 2 years and a half that I've had as an observer of the Taiwanese society have made these sort of questions pop in my head. I sometimes feel that the Taiwanese miss out terribly on lots of things, specifically, social aspects of their life. But not only does it reflect on their personalities, it is painfully obvious. And by painful, I mean the wrong choices that they take to handle situations, like a simple conversation for example. They get all worried when talking to a foreigner. They might studder, sweat, blush, worry, walk away, or all of the above at once. This in turn worries me. Gets me thinking if they are liking the life they have now, or the life they will have if it continues. Of course, not all Taiwanese are like this. But its the average case that a foreigner might encounter.

I must confess that I did some thinking myself for the day. On what I am doing, what will I do, if I'm doing it right, and such. Sometimes you just need to ask these questions and take the time to really stop and analyze what you are doing.

So...? Just like every Pokemon game asks you when you are in the middle of a battle and its your turn to choose an action, what will Fukaluo do?

One thing I am sure of right now, though, is...
I'm having dinner.