Point and Shoot!

I've never actually mentioned that I really like photography. I guess I always found it interesting, looking at images and their detail. But I got hooked when someone started talking to me about a brand called Lomo, short for Lomography. Now, what's special about Lomography is that it's not digital. It uses film, and nothing more. Everything is basically manual. And then I became really interested in it, and wanting to learn more, looking for more cameras and the like until I finally bought my own.

I purchased a Lomo LC-Wide for myself, which I find very convenient because its super light! Doesn't weight a thing! You can make multiple exposures, take pictures with a square frame or even half frames! The shutter doesn't make much noise, and of course...it is incredibly wide angled. You can be very near a subject at a distance as close as 0.4 meters and you'll be able to capture a lot more of the surroundings than you thought. This can be a good thing and a bad thing. For me, well I like wide angle and all but I sometimes just want to take a picture of a certain object...not everything else as well...when you take pictures with the LC-Wide, that particular subject will appear to be smaller than it actually is...think of it as the view mirrors on the sides of the cars that usually have a sticker that says "Objects in mirror are closer than they appear".

That was a year ago. After that first purchase into the world of analogue photography, or like others put it...film photography, I've been taking pictures very often and I've had the opportunity to test other cameras as well, even trade my own for another to use a certain amount of time. I had the chance to test out a camera called Petri TTL, which was made around 1974. Way older than I am! It was great, I had little to no problem with that camera! It was my first SLR camera, and my LC-Wide is not exactly an SLR camera. You really can't change the aperture, focal distance, nor the shutter speed to your liking (shutter speed is automatic and it has only to focal distances: near 0.4-0.9m and far 0.9-on).

After a while, I came face to face with a camera I had never seen or heard of before...a Canon AL-1. Whenever I mention that camera, people respond "Don't you mean the Canon AE-1?". I was originally looking for the Canon AE-1's less popular counterpart, the Canon AV-1 because it was aperture priority. I really wanted to be able to control the bokeh effect on my pictures (the blurry effect on the background contrasting on the focused object). Then I found this Canon AL-1, in which you can control both the aperture and shutter speed but can also place the shutter speed in automatic. I was there, the camera was there...I had to get my hands on it...

It's been great! It was in perfect conditions to start with! Now, enough reading and lets get to the pictures!!!

These are a couple of samples of the LC-Wide

Here I took a picture holding the camera from my lap...very close...yet I was able to capture a whole lot of the sky!

It's perfect for taking pictures of bigger subjects which you would otherwise have a harder time with other cameras!

    
Landscapes look great with this camera, due to the wide angle!

With the Petri TTL, which is an SLR camera, I was using lens that allowed me to take pictures close to my subject and to make them look as big as I wanted!

Get as close as I want, and change the depth of the bokeh!

And after playing around with the borrowed camera I finally got my own SLR! I'm very happy! I still have to get the hang of it though...

Silence...is Golden?

If I am silent...I am not real...

If I speak up...no one will hear...

If I wear a mask...there's somewhere to hide...

If I raise my voice...will someone get hurt...?

And if I can't feel...then I won't get touched...

If no truths are spoken...no lies can hide...

My favorite lines out of a song from a band I really like, Garbage. The lyrics have recently left me thinking...well not recently, but more now than ever. They make me think, about what happens when we say things. When we express what's on our minds, when we express our feelings...'Cause once they're out in the open, once they are uttered out of your mouth...whether it'd be a good thing or a bad thing. You can't push them back in, or no matter how hard you pretend it never happened...it did, and those words are out there. I believe that even if you prepped before saying what you had to say, and imagining what would go down and how it would happen...it might be actually harder to deal with.

So, those lines from the song...I feel I might understand the meaning behind them, but let me interpret them in my own way.

By not making yourself count, you remain in the background. You need to speak up in order to get noticed, to get heard. Otherwise by remaining silent things will still move on, they will still carry on even though you might disagree or are against whats happened. You are no longer part of reality unless you make yourself real.

Then we have the fear of rejection upon speaking, the fear of being ignored...which would result in not taking action. I, for some time, was also this way. Thinking that if I spoke up it was not gonna be of any use. No one would care, or worse...I would be shunned for doing so. So in the end, our insecurities and doubts overwhelm us to the point of remaining silent.

Pretending...pretending that you share the same opinion, pretending that nothing is wrong, pretending that you are ok with the situation, or to just take on a different attitude just to keep your thoughts and feelings inside. That way no one has to know whats going on, or even better! You adapt yourself to whats going out of your own little world so that you don't have to say anything. You're hiding.

Then we have the line I've been feeling identified with the most for a while now..."If I raise my voice, will someone get hurt?".  I am the type of person who doesn't like to talk about my own problems with other people. I've always thought that people have their own troubles, why would I went them to hear mine? I should be able to find a solution to my problems on my own...but I bet you might also know a thing or two that sometimes you should actually ask for help...or the fact of sharing your problems to the right person without receiving any help is, in fact, a big relief. Most of the times I don't say what's on my mind or when I keep my feelings inside is because I feel that if I do, I will hurt the other person. And there's no taking it back. Therefore I just keep silent, so that the other person doesn't feel bad about it. It seems pretty easy. Respect to the other person, you know. But I don't know what to do, when it starts affecting me. For example, when you change your view about someone else and they notice that you have distanced yourself. I don't know if to speak up and say what's on my mind, or just pretend everything's cool. You may take this example even further when it comes to couples and marriages. What then? You've been together for so long, is it really worth mentioning? Is it just a phase?

When you distance yourself, or demonstrate a lack of interest people will do the same. They will slide away, 'cause who wants to be with someone who doesn't mind about anything or isn't interesting about anything.

And the last line may have different points of view, but the way I see it is that when nobody comes up with the truth, it gives so much space for lies, omissions and whatnot. When no truths are spoken, any lie can be out there in the open. Therefore lies can't hide, anybody can see them....but can they recognize them?

Just sharing some thoughts. Anyway, check out the band. It's a great band that started in 1994 and will soon have new album out. This specific song is from their 3rd studio album, Beautiful Garbage. They have cool songs throughout their career.

Garbage

Silence Is Golden

Those little things...

It's amazing how you might be able to connect with different people and to what extent. A single look, a hand movement, a hug...many different ways. I don't know if you have ever experienced that 'finishing each other's sentences' deal, but it has happened to me with my friends a lot. We are in sync several times. Of course it doesn't happen 24/7, that would just be boring, but it surprises me how many times it happens. But what's best of all is that it doesn't matter how much they might anger you at times, or how long you remain annoyed, it is just very hard to stay mad at them or worse...to end the friendship. 'Cause it's those types of friends that are worth keeping around. :)

In the end...there can only be one...right?

Lately I have been hearing many different opinions and points of view about love and relationships. About how you can be in a relationship and still have "fun" with other people because in the end there is nothing romantically involved and you still love your partner. About once being in a relationship, not to be involved intimately or romantically with somebody else cause that is something you only do with your partner. About monogamy. About polygamy. About how humans are NOT meant to be monogamous. About how humans ARE meant to be monogamous. About the difficulty of knowing you are with the right person unless you try different things. About the ease of knowing you are with the right person, because you just know and because you feel it. About how something physical is just that, something physical. About how something physical is more than just being something physical.

What I noticed about the people I heard these things from was that the people with a more "open" point of view were from the northern hemisphere whilst the "closed" ones were from the south. Even more specifically, the "open" were from Europe and the "closed" from Latin America.

I was interested in getting to understand both points of view, hear what they had to say, where do they stand, etc. as well as asking questions along the way, the first being "If you are in a relationship, and you try something with somebody else, and you find out you like it...what then?". The answer was simply "Then you break up, it was not meant to be." Makes sense, but it was quickly followed by "It wouldn't be considered cheating.". That completely clashes with the Latin American point of view about being loyal and monogamous, cause that would be considered cheating right from the start with no other way of looking at things. And when I asked the "closed" "Don't you ever wonder what it would be to have something different, with somebody else?" The answers I got were more in the lines of "I am completely comfortable with what I have, I see no need in finding something else or do something stupid in search of 'fun'."  I don't know if it is of relevance to point out the fact that the "open" and "closed" that said this both had their longest relationships to be 6 months and 2 years respectively.

Personally, I believe that once I am with the right somebody and want to actually build a relationship with that person, then I should be comfortable and wouldn't have the need to look elsewhere. If it is the contrary, then I see no sense or need in continuing the relationship being uncomfortable and/or with needs my partner should fulfill. In a less selfish stance, I also don't find it fair to waste somebody else's time as well as giving up their chances to meet somebody else that would truly be fit for that person.

I just find it amusing how we all are different people, and have different opinions as well as points of view...Even with something so simple yet so complicated like love. 

But in the end...there can only be one big love...right?

Riding a Bus

So today I was wondering...how come in movies, TV shows, media itself, I come to see that people who take public transport like a bus can start a conversation with a complete stranger, but ever since I came to Taiwan it hasn't happened to me? No wait, it did...It happened like 2 times. Thing is, it happened with foreigners. Never has a Taiwanese approached me and started a conversation with me on a bus unless it's the bus driver him or herself (Cause in Taiwan you can get both). I remember two years ago taking a bus back home, and I hear a couple of guys speaking Spanish at the back of the bus. After a while, I just asked where they were from (cause that's the first thing people ask foreigner's in Taiwan). Turns out they were from Mexico, and a nice conversation followed. The second time was not so long ago. I got on a bus, which I was not sure where it was going so asked the driver if it went to the "so and so" stop. To my surprise, he just stares back at me with no expression on his face...so ask once again assuming he didn't hear me. Same reaction...or lack of reaction? Just as I was about to call this driver out, a woman sitting right near the entrance said "Yes, it passes by your stop. I'm going there too." So I thought to myself, "Finally, somebody had some decency to answer me." It so happens that this woman is a foreigner around her 40's. It is also worth mentioning that the bus was not empty, it was actually half full yet nobody else answered. Now I know what you must be thinking, that probably they didn't understand what I was saying...they do speak Chinese after all. For the record, I asked in Chinese, and the woman answered me in Chinese as well. And just then, it felt nice that somebody actually spoke to me on the bus.

I just can't help but wonder, why? Why in Taiwan people are just not going to talk to you on the bus? It is kind of ironic that in the buses here made to transport 2,620,000 people in just Taipei and get crammed like a can of sardines during rush hour I feel alone and at times alienated. I bump into people while trying to get out, or slightly push when fighting to get in and still it feels kinda lonely in the bus. I know they notice me, cause they stare at times and its something most foreigners learn to ignore.

I can also point out a few situations that can happen while taking a bus in Taiwan:

*If you happen to sit somewhere that has two seats, and the one beside you is free...its yours too so stretch and relax. Taiwanese don't sit beside foreigners unless necessary. They get on the bus, look at an empty seat, go for it, see a foreigner beside it, and suddenly realize they just wanna stand during this trip (They figure they had been sitting all day anyway). Of course, its not always the case, but I can assure you that foreigners that take the bus have had this happen to them at least 60% of the time.

*If you start talking to somebody else, it is almost 100% sure heads will turn. Probably because of your accent, or the language your using...but sometimes even when you speak Chinese, heads will turn to stare at the speaker for a while...I have also observed that most of them are elderly Taiwanese that like to do the staring game.

*If you start talking with somebody else in a language other than Chinese or English and sometimes French, those stares start having a different meaning to them...a more like, "Would you shut the hell up?". Oh I forgot to mention that the few times Taiwanese ever speak to us foreigners on a bus is to shut us up. Now why, did I mention those 3 languages? Well, because I've heard and seen groups of Taiwanese school students (elementary, middle, highs schools, university) being loud as a construction site, and they get away with it. Why English? Because Taiwanese love foreigners that speak English. Their first thought is that they are from "America", a country they look up with great esteem. Too much if you ask me. Why French? Because there are those who like France as well, sorta like they do with "America". Any other language is just noise and gibberish to them.

*You will be stared at

*The driver, for a lack of a better word, drives like a madman.

*The driver, again for a lack of a better word, drives extremely slow.

*The driver talks to the bus driver that's beside our lane.

*The driver might start fighting with a taxi in front of him.

*The driver will ask you where you're from.

*You will be pointed out by the children

*The driver might ask you where you want to go before you get on, just in case you don't know which bus you're taking.

*Often will you find some elder Taiwanese sitting near the driver, having a very loud conversation that sounds like a heated argument. But they are just talking about the weather! :D

And on and on, but I think this is enough buses and drivers for today.

I must admit tho, that I have felt like a fly on the wall sometimes...just observing all the interesting characters that might get on the bus, or interesting things that happen on the bus.

Arácnidos

So...lately there has been these storms passing by the island...probably some remnants of typhoons that seem to pass through here, bringing with them brief but intense showers...! So much water, that the soil can no longer absorb the rainwater and therefore there were lots of flooded areas.

This, in turn, can't help but make me think that a few animals...insects among them...have no other choice than to search for land and safe spots nearest them! This is a logical explanation to why the hell I've been surrounded by spiders these days!

This Monday, I was trying to get some shuteye...40 mins into my sleep, I feel something of considerable weight drop on my neck and quickly run off! I wake up and try to get it off me, but  there was nothing in sight. But on closer inspection of the room...I find a spider the size of my fist on the wall! Big, black, dark...and its legs were unnaturally long...!

I had completely taken their warnings for granted, because earlier that day there was this white spider of the same size outside the window...I took my time to observe it, and probably tap on the pane once or twice. It seemed that they were determined to have me out of there...and it worked...! After I found a third spider of the same size, I was not about to take my chances that evening.

I had tried to get rid of them, but I had no repellent or insecticide around...and they didn't sell anywhere near. The person in charge of the dormitories nowhere to be seen, and the only advice I got was..."Usa una escoba! (use a broom!)"...Which I did...but the spiders were so fast! And they jumped all over the place!!! They finally got into narrow places I couldn't reach...and I gave up...I couldn't stay the night being all stressed out that another one of them would land on my face again!

Now, things are ok-ish...There is another one at the window, and has been there for 3 days...I'm guessing it'll starve soon...I just hope it won't break in! And the others are not in sight...but I know they're around...here...somewhere.......!!!!

Decisions...decisions...

I am the kind of person that usually doesn't read the manual for things I get, like for a game or how to build something...unless it is absolutely necessary or I find myself lost. But right now, I am at a position in my life where I wish I had a manual...to lead me through life. Things weren't really looking up for me these past few months, that's when I needed it the most. Now everything is kinda ok-ish, but I still wish I had that friggin' manual.

It's hard for me to make decisions, and I bet for most people too, because of the "What if's..." What if I had chosen that instead of this?", "What if I hadn't done this?", "What if I actually had done it?". Not only that, but of all the consequences decisions bring. Life is not like a game in which you can "Retry" or "Restart" if you had a game over, or you didn't get what you want. Even less just turning "Life" off out of frustration and continue another day when you're feeling better. Life goes on, and is continuous. You might be in "Pause", but not life...it keeps going!

And let's say you actually made your decision...Most of the times you have to stick to it! And even if you change your mind and want to go back, things might not be the same.

Life seems to have many branches, based on the decisions and choices you make. I'm always curious of the things that would happen in the future, just like I'm curious of the things that could've happened. I wonder about Life, Family, Happiness, Love, Friendship, Success, Trust...these are all big words for me which I care about...And most of the time, they might clash with each other. For example, you might make yourself happy but might upset and unbalance your family. You might strive for success but that might create some trust issues between your coworkers. And you might be in love, but at the same time sloppy with life cause you are more into your relationship.

So I wonder, not how to choose which one nor how to have 100% of all of them...But instead how to create a balance between all of them...when and where to choose which one rather than just focusing on a single one. This are just thoughts of an insecure mind at the moment...thoughts I wanted to type in...

Up there is Eevee and all its evolutions up until this date August 5, 2011. Now Eevee is a really special Pokemon in which it has a special trait encoded in its genes that allow it to evolve into many forms depending on its environment or if given a certain stone. It evolves into Flareon, Jolteon, or Vaporeon once using the Fire, Thunder, and Water Stones respectively. It evolves into Espeon and Umbreon depending on if you train in the daytime or nighttime. And finally into  Leafeon and Glaceon if it is trained in a certain area such as a forest or a snowy area with a certain rock present. Each evolution is different and has its own pros and cons. There is only one Eevee in each game and only one! Once it evolves that's how it is gonna stay forever, there is no way to make it turn into another one or to change it back...(unless you don't save your game, haha). But if you don't evolve it, it will always stay like Eevee which is much weaker than any of its evolutions. So the trainer must be sure of what it wants and how to do it right in order to get the desired evolution.

In other words one has to be aware of the consequences decisions might bring, live with them, and move on...yet the decision making is the hardest part to do. But if you don't take action...you are just gonna end up with...an Eevee...something weak, normal and plain. As cute as it may be, you have to grow up sometime and make tough choices.